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30 Jan

’The word slut has an ability to generate an amount of heat that demonstrates how important it is to find where that heat comes from. What is actually behind the power and fear of the word slut? The fear of the power unleashed if we let women go about their day unchallenged and unmolested by their sexual choices?

He said, “See this worries me, ‘cause if you turned out the way you did from that, my kids will end up in church.”My 13-year-old is all “I know all of this. We all find ourselves in situations and only afterward think of what we wished we’d done or said.

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I’ll be at Slutwalk with my three sons aged eight, nine and 13. And to wear something slutty.”Anthony’s father’s only advice to him about women was “all women are molls”. I say, not surprisingly, because most blokes are grouse. About the meaning of the word slut, the use of the word, if a protest is a good idea, if this is the right kind of protest, if it’s as good as the Reclaim The Night rallies, if there are better ways to tackle the problem (insert duplicitous words like ‘inappropriate’, ‘provocative’ and ‘self- respect’ here). This is the clearest, simplest and most accurate message we need to get across to everyone. If you believe that no-one deserves to be raped or sexually abused come to or support Slutwalk. ‘Sure it worked for queer but it won’t work for slut. I bet when the reclaiming of words like nigger, wog, queer began many of the tutt tutters, head-shakers and air-suckers said ‘It’ll never happen’. If a woman dresses inappropriately, she’s naïve not to realise she is putting herself at risk”.

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They’ll be wearing tee shirts that read ‘YOU‘RE NOT ALLOWED TO RAPE SLUTS EITHER’. He grew up watching his father abuse, diminish, degrade and undermine women he loved. (Noted there is a disproportionate amount of them in the NRL, AFL and the Catholic Church.) Perhaps the propagation of this myth is to excuse the behaviour of a few, to lower the standards for all and set everyone’s expectations to Neanderthal. If you understand and would like others to understand that if a woman is labelled as a ‘slut’ (a term open to debate) by her behaviour or attire the moron majority consider it as a fair reason to blame her for being raped or sexually assaulted then come to or support Slutwalk. There are well-meaning moron apologists on the comment threads of Slutwalk articles saying, “I don’t agree with rape and sexual abuse. Clementine Ford has written an upcoming piece subtly pointing out how mainstream Australia is comfortable saying these things but for Sheik Al Hilay to talk about women being like uncovered meat left out for the cat and not being the cat’s fault for eating it but the meat for being uncovered well that’s outrageous. If someone driving a brand new BMW has their car stolen why do we never hear, ‘They were asking for it’? ‘Oh he was asking for it flaunting his money and withdrawing in a back street after dark.’And yes I know you can’t find logic from something that has not come from logic but there seems to be no victim of rape or sexual assault whose circumstances, behaviour or attire cannot be found as ‘sluttish’ and therefore ‘asking for it’.

Sure, I could go vintage with ‘FAT CHICKS SHIT ME’, rocking the retro with ‘ALL YOU VIRGINS THANKS FOR NOTHING’ or getting my postmodern on with ‘NO ROOT NO RIDE’ but they just don’t cut it. It was my boyfriend Anthony’s response when I asked if he was coming to Slutwalk. Cause you’re not allowed to rape sluts either”.“What’s in it for me? Many other beautiful men in my circle may not have been fathered by such plain-speaking and non-apologetic misogynists but grew up surrounded by strong subliminal messages from men they were expected to look up to, relentless one-dimensional images in the media of sexual objectification of women and the constant representation of females as trophies, slaves, bitches or service providers. It would have been clearer if they just came out and said it. “She wouldn’t sleep with you so now you’re calling her a slut. ”Despite what you may have been lead to believe misogyny is not genetic, inherited and nor is it a default setting. As a mother of boys, a lover of men and just a plain old human being this idea men have no honour, decency, basic courtesy, no ability for restraint and no sense of judgment I find deeply offensive and profoundly troubling. If you understand that debating if a victim of rape or sexual abuse’s clothes or activities were sluttish is futile and counterproductive and the only effective way forward is to dissolve, dismantle and distort the common use of the word slut in an attempt to lessen ‘being, dressing or acting like a slut’ as an excuse for rape or sexual abuse then please come to or support Slutwalk. Or if someone with a multi-million dollar house get robbed? The only one who wasn’t asking for it is the 85-year-old woman asleep in her bed raped by an intruder.